Sexual fantasies give a boost to our mind set. What? Why? How? Obviously, this is a statement which can be questioned. But studies have shown that “one in four Americans has a secret sex scenario that they want to act out, but have yet to share with the partner. So what’s the appeal of a fantasy? Sexual health coach Dr Jayne Guyn, Ph.D., RD, and author of “Too Busy to Get Busy,” says, “Our erotic urges enjoy playing to a script. It’s not necessary to have one to run eroticism, but when a turn-on meets a hot story — particularly a forbidden story — it has a place to land.”
So let us see what are some of the sexual fantasises which can turn us on and we would like to add some spice in our sexual lives.
Did you just recall fifty shades of grey in your mind? Nevertheless, handcuffs have been exciting since ages and actually give the concept of controlling the partner. However, many of us fantasize either being bandaged or disciplined. Dr. Lehmiller says, “Bondage and discipline (the second meaning for “D”) involves one person surrendering control to another. Only bondage involves physical restraints — handcuffs, rope, etc. — while discipline involves psychological restraints.”
Many sexual partners who are open about their relationship would prefer engaging in a threesome, while others would feel that it is like third wheeling. Anyway, it is just a fantasy which most of us do have and we all have a choice in that. “The psychological basis of this fantasy lies in the sexual scarcity that many men (and some women) experience. The fantasy of threesomes and ‘more-somes’ removes any feeling of shortage and replaces it with multiple hands, mouths and bodies. The anxiety of ‘not enough’ is banished.”
Being dominating or submissive:
Missionary sex position is one traditional set of intercourse which gives rise to patriarchy according to me. With this I do not mean, that being dominant is merely dependent on the one who identifies himself as male or with any other gender. It is open to interpretation and desires are thus followed having a better sexual compatibility.
Sex and sexuality:
Let us not get into gender roles. Simplifying it further, sex with same gender is also a fantasy if you do not identify yourself as a heterosexual. “Sexual health coach Guyn explains: “Because women are socialized to repress their sexual desires — even when in a loving relationship — many women fantasize about a partner who ‘knows how to please a woman’ (i.e. another woman) instead of communicating with a male partner about her specific desires in the bedroom.”
There are many more fantasies which we all dream of. It is all up to the person and how would they like to have some excitement in their lives. Keeping in mind of the fact that the definition of excitement may vary amongst individuals.
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- S, Michelle. (2018). The Psychology Behind 8 Popular American Sexual Fantasies. Livestrong.